Alistair Darling's Treasury team and Mervyn King's central bank squad are locked in quadruple extra time, it seems, over this hire. Yet a small sporting event you may have heard of kicks off this weekend and offers an easy solution process.

Mr Darling is under instructions when keeping not to move his eyebrows before the whistle blows.

PS/Some exotic gambles out there for the Euros: 'What will Ronaldo do first' offers 100-1 on 'Hire a transsexual prostitute' (although possibly the 'Marry Nereida Gallardo' bet is more likely if not of better value); alternatively one can guess 'What match will Ronaldo cry in first'.

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