Stay cheerful heading into the weekend:


Whats the difference between Vladimir Putin and George Bush?
Putin nationalises only profitable assets….

What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't short-sell anything?
Quarter pounder with fries please.

How do you get a banker out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

What’s the capital of Iceland?
About €3.50.

You know it’s a credit crunch when…
...your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars.

What’s the difference between a no-claims bonus and a banker’s bonus?
You lose your no-claims bonus after a crash.

How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?
All of them if you want to generate employment, more consumption and shift the aggregate demand curve to the right..

A priest, a rabbi, and a mortgage broker were all caught in a shipwreck. Sharks were soon circling around. The sharks eat the priest. The rabbi starts praying fervently, but to no avail, as the sharks eat him as well. The mortgage broker is really getting worried, as a shark is coming for him. But instead the shark puts him on its back, carries him to shore, and lets him off. The mortgage broker asks, “How come you didn’t eat me too?” And the shark replied, “Professional Courtesy!”

Bradford & Bingley employees are dismayed they were given no notice of the takeover by Santander. A spokesman explained: “Nobody expects the Spanish acquisition.”

Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and Peter Mandelson are flying to a world economic summit. Peter looks at Alistair and chuckles: ‘You know, I could throw a £50 note out of the window right now and make one person very happy.’ Alistair shrugs his shoulders and says: ‘Well, I could throw five £10 notes out of the window and make five people very happy.’ Gordon says: ‘Of course, but I could throw ten £5 notes out of the window and make ten people very happy.’ The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them, and says: ‘I could throw all of you out of the window and make the whole country happy.


Spank the banker

NB: Jokes from all over but most can be found at Credit Crunch Jokes

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